10.25 in the morning, sitting in front of my TV watching or not watching Tarzan II, I guess it’s just on so that I have some noise in the house… there - its on mute now..but then why do I still have it on…ok…the TV’s off now. Ok, so where was I?
Oh yea, 10.25 in the morning, sitting with my phone in my hand trying to write something coz many of my friends have shown faith in me by encouraging me to write n I m sick n tired of telling them that I m not a writer. N yet they keep telling me to go ahead n write. So here goes nothing.
After a very emotional evening yesterday n a very tempting suicidal day before (quite literally), I was actually googling ways to commit suicide painlessly…yea my friend found it very funny when I was crying my heart out to him yesterday evening..he actually burst out laughing when he heard me say that..poor guy cudnt help himself..but he ended up giving me some good advice.. he gave me all the clichés possible that we all hear these days primarily thru fb posts…Come to think of it… these days when one is in the depths of depression, others can’t even cheer u up with words of wisdom coz they r all thrown out there on fb, Twitter, Instagram… is someone starts saying something, then one can say, “yea yea I have read it all..say something new”… then what can one say that’s original??!!
Anyways, coming back to my friends advice… he told me just get up early, take a bath, have breakfast n get dressed. Get dressed as if u have to go out, even if u don’t n then just sit. Do this for a few days n then we will talk abt it..dont ask me why just do it. So today I did it. Well I didn’t follow his advice to the T but I did get up way before I usually do, had a bath, had breakfast n now m sitting on my couch actually trying to write, if only this.
Well at least it’s a beginning. My feelings of inadequacy r still there, I still feel I m a loser, all that hasn’t changed but at least I now know I haven’t given up. I m trying n will keep trying until I achieve the zenith that I have in my mind for myself.
I dont know if this is the beginning of a series of blogs or just a one time thing. Only time will tell. But do keep an eye out.
Your comments r more than welcome. Encourage me or discourage me, as u will. But do comment n share your thoughts.
We all have been in the dumps and I know atleast a few ppl who have shared similar thoughts.. life can get seriously disorienting n scary, especially if you have chosen to walk the path less travelled.. it's good to sometimes take stock of the situation, assess, reassess, take an outside and even an outsider's perspective for clarity. Every opinion you get would be highly biased based on individual experiences n leanings.. but that's where the wisdom sometimes lies.. in learning n sharing with others, as successful or not, what is important is that we keep trying and keep fighting and keep finding a cause to live for..
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