Clean chit

Gone are the days when we used to sit with pen n paper in hand n contemplate what to write. Nowadays we sit with phone or tablet in hand trying to figure it out n by the time we do, the screen locks itself n then we have to go thru the entire ritual of unlocking the damn screen n by then we have lost the thread of our thoughts. Today  the urge to pen something down is very strong within me but I have no idea what I want to write. So I m going to ramble. N once I m done, if it makes sense then I will publish it or I may publish it just for the heck of it.
Why are relationships soooooo bloody complicated? U find someone u like, u meet up, things happen n then what?? Where does it go from there??
I am the kind of person who has never believed in 'casual relationships'. Yet now at this stage of my life, I m forced to give it a whirl just so I can at least meet men without scaring them off. Haha. Funny, eh? Not so much.
And hey, u know what... I just realized that in the last five to six years, all the men that I have dated n had a relationship with have eventually moved on to get married to other women while I m left high n dry on my mighty horse of casual relationship waving them into their happily married sunsets with a smile on my face n a broken heart.
And here I am once again... Met someone who is single, never been married, a sworn bachelor which at this stage is very rare to find coz most men my age are all married with families ( not that the men I was dating were married but they were a few years younger than me) n who specifically mentioned that he never intended to get married. So here I m, Happy in the thought that at least this one won't be going anywhere soon when a couple of weeks later he drops a bomb on me saying that he will get married within this year coz his family wants him to.
I ask u, what the hell is all this about?? I mean, give me a break. Oh n wait.I haven't said it all..
Never in a million years will he consider that he cud marry me.. like..Hello... Here I am.. u like me.. u love talking to me..U love spending time with me.. when we r away from each other, u think of me n msg me.. so if we r so compatible then why don't u marry me? Why doesn't it cross ur mind that hey, here's a girl I like..So if my family wants me to marry then why not her!!
But no..I will tell u why not.. coz like most Indian men, u can fuck around all u want but when it's time to get married, u want a girl with a 'clean chit'.
Need I say any more?!